Then I read the card, and they had been sent by someone very lovely, but not the person I yearned for. And even though it was exactly the same bouquet of flowers, I had lost my pleasure in them in the surge of disappointment.
Today, I had this conversation with my friend L.
L: Oh, someone came looking for you earlier.
Me: (Someone? Here? I wonder if it was the person I'm not quite admitting I'm kind of yearning for. Wow. That would be pretty fantastic.) Who was it? Did they say their name?
L: No. But they looked like (gives description).
Me: Oh. (Not the one... but I think I know who it is, and that person is lovely. I'll ring and ask them to coffee. How nice that they dropped by.)
There was no pang of disappointment, but I had a sudden flashback to that bouquet of flowers and how I lost all pleasure in them.
I don't know whether to be sad or happy that I've changed so much.