cupidsbow (cupidsbow) wrote,

The circle of life

Finished the first draft. \o/

And only three days after I thought I'd have it finished, although that was when I thought it would come it at 2,500 words. *laughs at myself* So much for posting in celebration of the AO3.

You should go check the Archive out, by the way. It's in open beta, and you can request an invite. It's awesome; all the hard work of the various teams involved really shows. Go OTW!

Anyway, the first draft of The Fic Of Much Self-Reflection is currently sitting at 5,500 words, so will probably hit 6,000 ish by the time re-writes are done.

I'm waiting on tenterhooks to see if betas think it makes a lick of sense. I'm too close to it; I can't tell any more. For all I know, I need to add more scenes, twizzle the sequence around some more, and change the ending (which is, in fact, par for the course with my stories. My first draft endings always, always suck to the max).

And while I'm being reflective, re-writing isn't as fun as doing the first draft, even though 1) the pressure is off, so I'm not sabotaging myself, and 2) I'm good at it. I get bored, is the thing. I've already done all the hard/interesting work, and re-writing is largely tedious nit-picking. Sadly, it really does show when I don't bother with the nit-picking stage.

Apart from the boredom factor, there's the whole story circle of life thing, which is quite different to the destructive internal monologue I was writing about before. The cycle goes like this:
  • I adore the story while writing it -- it's the best thing I've ever done and sheer genius, etc. etc.
  • Once I've finished it, I very quickly come to hate it; it's drivel, every line is dull, and I can't think why I bothered.
  • Shortly after I've finished the re-writes and sent it out into the world, I love it again, kind of obsessively. It's a bit disturbing and very narcissistic.
  • Finally, after a few weeks I forget I ever wrote it until someone mentions it, and then I might go and poke at it, and stare at it like a strange artefact dropped from the heavens -- Did I do that? I think. That's quite a useful stage, because I have enough objectivity to see the strengths and weaknesses for what they are, without all that emotional baggage.

And so ends the circle of a story's life.

Do you have a story cycle like that? I've always assumed everyone does, but maybe not.

Okay, I'm off to bed. All that writing and reflecting has worn me out.

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Tags: discussion, otw, writing
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