cupidsbow (cupidsbow) wrote,

Spoof: Like Sands Through a Fuel Line

I went and read a funny, funny MST, "With Love, Katya," at beanzy's LJ the other day.

I left a kinda drooly comment and Beanzy *gave me hug*! And then she described some hair!

So I thought she might like this little spoof of some of my favourite TV shows...


Like Sands Through A Fuel Line

The woman, let's call her Sam, tosses her blond hair and says, "But what about Einstein's General Theory of Relativity?" This has nothing to do with the plot of the show, but lets us know that Sam is not a bimbo. Sam is a trained nuclear physicist who is only working for a rag like Strange But True! because her ex-husband stole her Nobel prize winning idea about the structure of probability matrices for quarks moving through polar ice-caps. He also cleaned out her bank account, pinched her favourite hot-pink high heels, and sold her flat to the mob. This has left Sam with deep psychological scars which are revealed every time she is faced with a tense moment. There are three such tense moments during every episode. When this happens you can tell Sam is deeply anguished and tormented by her husband's betrayal, because she does The Look and tosses her hair a lot.

Sam works with a hunk named Connor or O'Neill. You know the type: lots of hair, trendy eyewear, well developed chest and upper arm muscles. He is a man who has turned the meaningful silence into an art form. After a particularly tense moment on a high profile story about UFO Abductees, O'Connor says something caring and sensitive to Sam, like "If you ever need to talk, I'll always be here for you". Sam responds by giving O'Connor the Other Look, which means that if she wasn't so anguished and deeply scarred she'd jump his bones for sure. Because it's obvious that O'Connor is not a pig like other men. He is sensitive and really cares for Sam. You can tell he really cares for Sam because of the soulful way he watches her toss her hair. You can tell he's sensitive because if someone makes a joke about bits of a woman's anatomy O'Connor will punch their lights out.

So we have a classic case of UST, and it will provide a nice edgy undertone of angst and yearning for the entire first season of twenty-six episodes. But then O'Connor will be offered a spin-off series. So with much tossing of hair, he'll leave behind the spiritual love he has with Sam, and move to Los Angeles where he's inherited a private detective agency from an uncle who lost both legs in the Vietnam war. This will give him ample opportunity to brood a lot in a hunky kind of way, and punch up a lot of guys who say rude things about women.
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